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subscribeThoughts from the Air, Part I
August 18th, 2011
This weekend I took a whirlwind trip to San Francisco for my sister’s bachelorette festivities.
It was the first time I’d left my girls overnight (and the first time not sleeping beside Ant since we were married five years ago). This first note is about my Ella, written on the plane somewhere between home and San Francisco. The second (posted tomorrow) is for my sister, on the other end of my trip.
Above the Clouds
38,000 feet, and I’m looking down at the tops of clouds. They’re gloriously soft and lush looking. Some are like mounds of cotton piled high on top of each other, so high that it seems I could touch them from my seat. Others are thin and wisp to an end swiftly, reminding me of cotton candy…
Which then turns my thoughts to a carnival or better yet, a boardwalk lining a beach…
Which then brings me back to my girls. And tears well up and line my bottom lids. As high up as I am, I feel my anchor.
Them. My world.
I am tethered up here in the air, drifting through clouds, torn between emotions. Tethered like a balloon, and I picture Ella Faye back there on the ground, little hands clasping so tightly to the string, squinting up into the sky.
Last night as I gathered up any extra hugs and kisses she would spare me, I told her I wouldn’t be seeing her when she woke up this morning. Her little girl intuition flared – being so much more aware than anyone would think to give credit to – and she sensed my emotion.
She stroked my hair and said quietly, “We’ll always be together.”
And so she’s right. My tether, my world. I hope she’s holding up better than I am.
