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subscribeThis Girl’s Name
November 21st, 2010
I’ve come to realize as this diagnosis has settled into my being that rather than being a setback, it is actually a giant step in the right direction.
It is a blessing in disguise.
It is hard and trying, a new way of eating and really a new way of living. But I have felt the differences. I have more energy, eating this way. I value the items placed on my plate much more than I ever have. I can see the difference in nutritional value that now lays in front of me at the table.
I don’t want to portray that I lived on a poor diet in the past. I feel as though I should make it known that we are not fast food eaters. The closest we get is fresh Mexican at Chipotle or Asian fare at Pei Wei. We don’t spend money on chips or snacks, candy or any highly processed foods. We don’t buy bags of cookies, but I do so much enjoy baking them at home. We only drink soda when we go out for meals or to the movies. We don’t bring any “junk food” into the house (partly because if we did, I am certain I would be too tempted. I know how good some of it can taste, but I also know how bad it all makes my body feel afterwards. And to me it’s not worth the guilt and tummy ache.). Overall, I thought we were pretty clean eaters. But there is always room for improvement.
This pregnancy has given me an extra gift. I can see myself becoming more and more aware of what I put into my body, and the bodies that I love so much. I am learning how types of food work together, how much of each is crucial to have at each meal.
When this pregnancy is over, and when (hopefully) diabetes leaves my body, I am going to see a nutritionist. I want to keep this up. I want to feed my body the best way I can, so it can function at the highest level possible. I have already felt the effects on mood and energy and I want more. I have a new appreciation for food, for energy, and for health.
This diagnosis was a blessing in disguise. And I feel fortunate that the presence of this baby is what brought it to light. She has given me a new way of thinking and a desire to learn more.
The other night, the night before our diabetic teaching appointment, I had a dream that I delivered our tiny daughter. She was pink and soft, with giant round cheeks. She looked just perfect. She was beautiful.
It was just what I needed to settle my mind of worries and my heart beat faster for her.
I woke up Ant and told him we are all going to be okay. That our girl is going to be beautiful and I know she will be healthy. And I told him that I wanted to add a word to her name.
Grace.
She is teaching me about grace. How to get through difficult times by going slowly and holding yourself together. How to accept the things we are dealt with and how to respect them for the way they mold us. I am refined in a new way because of this child.
She has given me the gift of Grace.
And so her name is Poppy Lucille Grace. And I can’t wait to meet her and thank her in my arms.
