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August 5th, 2010
Today it occurred to me that I could have babies forever.
As I stood in the warm stream of my morning shower and Ella Faye sang to our shower songs from her swing, I realized this…
I could have babies forever.
In some way or another, we got on this kick of yelling the word, “hi” to one another. I on the sudsy side of the clear curtain, she on the cooler end, soaring through the dwindling steam, big purple bouncy ball in lap.
“Hiiii…” I would drone out slowly and deeply.
Fits of laughter bouncing off the cool blue bathroom walls.
“Hiii…” from a smaller voice, though not much smaller.
Cackles bouncing off the wet slate tiles.
“Hi!” A quick, high-pitched squeal this time.
Giggles bouncing off the cool blue bathroom walls.
“Hi!” A little mimicking voice would counter back.
Chuckles bouncing off the wet slate tiles.
And I thought, I could have babies forever, if they were just like her.
I could play with dozens of tiny toes for the rest of my life.
I could tie ten thousand pigtails.
I could listen to little voices recount the tales of their days until the end of mine.
I could hold small hands and lead them until I could no longer walk, and they would lead me.
I could bask in the beautiful songs of little children forever.
I could soak in all the kisses and snuggles they have to offer.
I could let tiny fingers run through my hair all the days long.
I could tickle and make faces and do anything for smiles until the end of time.
I could watch those dimples appear, on and on and on.
I could dish out millions of kisses just to make things better.
I could realize over and over again, with every gentle roll or vigorous punch, that there is life growing within my body, my soul, and my heart.
Today it occurred to me that I could have babies forever.
