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April 1st, 2009
I sat at our battered white dining table doing work tonight. I turned on some calming melodies to push the guilt-ridden thoughts out of my head & help me focus on the paper tasks before me.
Naturally, I leaned on him.
As he finished up, I wandered to her, my other favorite songbird, always on standby.
Now I seem to have developed a pounding knot in my chest, a brawny feeling of yearn. My ears are panting to hear the ocean, my legs itching to stroll me through breezy streets, my lips pining for a beach-stand coffee beverage, toes fancying to feel sand beneath, between them.
My mind wanders back to the summer almost four years ago. Me & Ant, two of our best friends, just having clocked out on a balmy afternoon. Feeling spontaneous & carefree. Taking nothing with us, just our music craving bodies riding through the desert on Highway 8.
After her album release show, we packed ourselves back into the car. Tired bodies but wild minds, feeling very much alive. Feeling very much alive until we hit the second hour of our journey home. Adrenaline slowly faded & our eyes went heavy. We were welcomed home by the sunrise. We didn’t even stop home, but went straight back to our collegiate jobs, clocking in again as if the night before had just been an ordinary evening.
Like it was secret.
A tantalizing secret.
I yearn to do something like that again. To be spontaneous & just decide on a whim that we’ll take nothing & go.
“I’ll look into hotels in the morning…” he says.
Not spontaneous, but somehow just as satisfying.
