November 14th, 2009
“I need some Christmas,” I told Ant. We had waited long enough.
We slept in until we heard the wee stirring. We opened the nursery door to find a giggling elfin.
Holiday cheer at its finest!
Breakfast brought the smell of Fall spice as gray clouds slowly hovered outside.
We sang and danced to Christmas songs as we readied ourselves for the day.
I put on a scarf.
Ella donned her winter coat.
We headed downtown to officially begin the Christmas Season.
We (all three of us) sipped Mexican hot chocolate.
We walked in the misty rain.
We took in the Christmas tree (and pigeons).
We browsed the Christmas offerings.
We discovered the joy of crisp Autumn leaves.
When we returned home, I reunited with Bing, Frank, and Nat and did some sewing. Some holiday sewing.
It’s here. It’s here. At last.
Happy Holiday Season!
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September 22nd, 2009
I sat in Ella’s room tonight and thought about magic. As I rocked her and sang whispers in her ear, I thought about how special this season has become to me. I remembered the welcoming of last Autumn, and the meeting of kittens outside our door. I still see that trio, dashing across the street at night. They are still symbolic in my eyes.
I sat and rocked my sweet daughter in my grandmother’s rocking chair. I thought about the times I watched my grandmother herself rest in it, all of us gathered around our Christmas tree, she the eldest, like our gentle queen. I miss her and I wish my children could know her. I am certain she knows my daughter.
As I rocked I thought about the mothers in my family whose paths I am following. My grandmother, my mother, my aunt. We rocked and swayed, resting in an heirloom that has been shared by mothers. And I thought, there is a piece of each of them, each of us, within Ella. That, is magical.
I thought about how magical it is to be a mother. To be a part of this race, to have experienced bringing a whole new little life into the world. To nurture this little being, to feel such love, before even meeting her. To prepare her world for her, to be there when she arrives, and to know such pride that you are now a part of her life.
Last Fall we waded through each day full of eagerness, anxious to welcome our little gift into our selves. There was magic in that time.
Tonight I felt that magic again, as I rocked my daughter and sang whispers in her ear.
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June 24th, 2009
I was one of those moms today. One of those moms that stands in line begrudgingly behind another member of her species and
…judges.
She was the kind of mom that had too much on her plate today. A frazzled mother of four: a teenage girl put in charge of wrangling the pre-teen be-freckled son (whose loudness & bickering made up for his lack of brothers), a jolly toddler & an unhappy red-headed infant. Struggling to keep them under rein while she shopped for cleaning supplies, shoes, outfits.
I met up with the team several times throughout our spins around the retail floor and each encounter left me exhausted at the sight. Her frazzle rubbed off on me. Ella’s eyes widened every time we came near.
Finally we had our farewell meeting at the checkout line. The only checkout line open. At that point I decided it best not to watch, but to review my items for purchase and add up the total again in my head for the fifth time. I gave Ella her sippy of water and we waited patiently. I could feel the heat and frustration of the shopper behind me as she watched over my shoulder.
The mother’s card was not accepted. She tried again. She reached past her screaming baby for her checkbook. Pre-teen still kicking teenager. Toddler still sneakily jaunting toward the sliding door.
Truth is, I was that mom just a few days ago, and I am a mother of one. A tiny one at that. You may have seen me…a red-faced shopper, sweeping through Target, lost and searching for teething tablets. An upset and grunting Ella (having been denied a storybook) in the crook of my arm, opposite hand violently maneuvering her stroller while trying to keep hold of our little red basket.
An employee passes by and merrily spits, “Looks like someone could use an extra hand!”
Really. She follows me down the aisle as my face grows redder. I stop off at the baby swimwear and pluck at the price tag, hoping to look supremely distracted from her one-sided conversation. I place Ella back in her seat, hoping against an outburst. I am weary, my nerves are fried, our shopping trip is over and unsuccessful. I was that mom a few days ago.
I had no right to judge today.
I have learned – sometimes mothers and their children have those outings, those days. I suppose we all learn to deal with them and accept that they will happen again. And when we see those mothers, just at their wits’ ends, ready to fall into bed and weep, we empathize.
Tonight, I empathize.
photo from here.
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June 21st, 2009
Happy Father’s Day to all the fathers in your life!
I am blessed to call three men my “fathers,” but only one is my daddy. He’s always been “Daddy” to me, and in calling him that today, I still feel like his little girl. It feels just right. He’s been so supportive and such a role model for me throughout my life and I’m so happy he’ll be the same for my daughter. It’s a joy to see how he and Ella Faye have touched one another’s lives. I love you, Daddy, very much.
And to my One and Only,
I couldn’t ask for a better man to spend my days with, raising our little love. You’re a wonderful daddy and an incredible husband to boot.
Even though our little Ella is so small, there is so much love inside of her. She’s crazy about you, and so am I.
And here is Ella Faye’s tribute to her daddy, in her very own words.
Happy Father’s Day!
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